06.27.2009 - The day before I was born

My waiting is about to change forever

Thank You!

Valentine's Day

Sunt trezita de zgomotul fin al unei dimineti frumoase si inzapezite de februarie, de prea multi trandafiri si cateva fire albe de flori plapande si gingase, ratacite printre frunzisul din buchetul rosu. Se opreste...se aseaza langa mine si fara sa faca alt sunet, imi spune: “I love you. Happy Valentine’s Day” si ma saruta. Cu ochii intredeschisi ii spun si eu “I love you”. Raman uimita de frumusetea chipului Lui, in care I se citeste bucuria de a ma face fericita si de a-mi arata dragostea prin minunatul lui gest. Nu ma asteptam sa fiu trezita astfel. Raman uimita, fara cuvinte, din privire incerc sa-I spun cat il iubesc...

...our 14th of February :)

Twentysomething life tale

Two more days before I wait 4 months and 10 days.

50 reasons to be.Happy.

"I will wonder at your beauty everyday, the same as I did the first time when I laid my eyes on you that night."

Cold rain

Rain me a drop of water. A drop of wet, cold water. Let it pour from above.

Yesterday...today

So...the following day all I found was ash...I gathered it in a bowl, covered it, and took it to a place to release it. The wind was blowing so hard, it covered my face with a sphere of cold air, surrounding my entire body with it's strength...I uncovered the bowl, and threw the ash into the air so it would fly as far away from me as possible... ... ... after a while I went home.
........next day, I woke up, I got dressed, and I just stood still for a second in which I reminded myself of what happened yesterday. I threw my past away. It was done. It should have ended a long time ago I said to myself...it should have...

Seventeen

Seventeen days. They rush to the finish where they wait for a new beginning. Seventeen days. They get closer to zero everytime the clock changes. Seventeen days. They speed up time so I can show what I feel. Seventeen days. They are incomplete without an ending, without a start to count again. Seventeen days. They are smaller than the ones that come after the time is over. Seventeen days. They bring You closer to where it will all begin. Seventeen days. They stand for a countdown which it is almost done. Seventeen days. They drag every second and every minute faster to Our dream. Seventeen days. They give hope and belief so I can listen to Your voice. Seventeen days. They give me time so I can love You more. Seventeen days. Seventeen days. Seventeen days...and after...more to come!

October night

I desire nothing, because my heart has more than enough. It has everything. How can I forget what I have? Minutes are not enough so I can write to You! Seconds pass to fast and I can't keep up with them to say the words I love slower. In a cold fall night, I have a wish: I wish that You could be happy in Your heart with the love that You know I have for You! I speak to You and my heart beats faster and faster, because I know that what my heart holds needs to be spoken and shown. It holds so many...[both happy and sad] words of love, feelings of the heart that seem unconceivable and impossible for the mind; the body finds them untouchable...but the heart, and only the heart believes that everything is possible. Your every single smile makes me happy, because every time it comes from the heart. I know You are there, and You can hear me!!! You can hear my heart when it comes whispering to Yours... deep feelings that were hidden, they came rushing into Your arms and found a place to rest their time...forever...How can I forget what I have? All and everything I have and want is You! I need Your love, I truly do! My heart speaks to You now! I want this heart of Yours to be complete; full with love and passion for the One You say it has your heart! This is what I know I already have: I have you, Love…I have You!

Scented Love

What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined... to strengthen each other... to be at one with each other in silent unspeakable memories.

August odyssey

I would like to tell you of a place far away. Where the days grow old from the sun's glow and a fiery sky tries to push it away while the moon clings to the hope that this might be the time when its face will finally light up a dark filled night. And as the sun struggles to hold on to the edge of that purple sky, a lonely cloud covers it up wiping away its hold on the arctic tundra's summer. This far away place is at the day when for the first time in months the sun has lost its power and for a few minutes that faded moon is now alone plastered on that evening sky. However, just as that cloud passes away from the western sky, another cloud rises in the eastern sky, hiding a growing glow. Few minutes of solitude is all for the moon. And the sun shines again!

As the clouds close in on each other bundling together and sewing a carpet of grey fluff across the sky, a small drop of rain finds its way down towards a forest of tall pine falling to a certain end in an uncertain place. And just as that drop of water is about to enter the endless story of the mountain forest, it splatters in a most unexpected ending on a most unusual of sights. But no sooner does the sound of that doomed raindrop fade into the past that another drop takes its place, followed by another, and another, and so what started as a splatter of water turns into the familiar and melodious song of rain. And this symphony of water is accompanied by the harmonious rhythm of the valley below where a raging glacier river hurries its way down the mountain as if trying to escape its past and oblivious to where its future will take it. And that most unusual of sights? It is only the tent in which I rest my head and with closed eyes I fall asleep to God's amazing choreography of nature's most beautiful symphony...all in the while...hoping that a hurried river can take my good night and bring it to your ear.

Emily Dickinson...

Death is a Dialogue between The Spirit and the Dust. "Dissolve" says Death—The Spirit "Sir I have another Trust"— Death doubts it—Argues from the Ground— The Spirit turns away Just laying off for evidence An Overcoat of Clay.

<< Religion and Science >>

" Religia se bazeaza, dupa parerea mea, in primul rand si in special pe teama. Este in mare parte teama de necunoscut si in mare parte asa cum am spus, dorinta de a simti ca ai un fel de frate nai mare, pe care te poti baza la orice necaz sau conflict. Totul pleaca de la teama - teama de mister, teama de infrangere sau de moarte. Teama este mama cruzimii si de aceea nu este de mirare ca religia si cruzimea au mers mana in mana. Astazi incepem cate putin sa intelegem cum stau lucrurile in lume, cate putin sa le stapanim prin intermediul stiintei care si-a taiat drumul pas cu pas impotriva religiei crestine, impotriva bisericii si in ciuda opozitiei vechilor percepte. Stiinta ne poate ajuta sa depasim aceasta frica lasa, care a incorsetat omenirea de-a lungul atator generatii. Stiinta ne poate invata, si cred ca propriile noastre inimi ne pot invata sa nu mai cautam protectie imaginara, sa nu mai inventam aliati in cer, si mai curand, sa incercam prin propriile noastre eforturi, aici pe pamant, sa facem din lumea aceasta un loc potrivit pentru a trai, un altul decat cel conceput de biserica in atatea secole."

Bertrand Russell

Bertrand Russel, nascut in culmea ascendentei economico-politice, in 1872; eseist, logician, agnostic, filosof, istoric si matematician; activist anti-razboi, critic al razboiului din Vietnam, conduce o campanie anti-Hitlerista in 1930, ia premiul Nobel pentru Literatura in 1950 pentru scrierile lui care promoveaza idealurile umanitare si libertatea de a gandi. Apare „Religion and Science” 1935, o carte aparent intergranta in secolul lui si totusi una ostila pe de alta parte. Prezinta conflictul om-eligie, om-stiinta, examinand asemanari dintre stiinta si doctrinele crestine sau interpretari biblice ale zilei. O carte care naste intrebari si convingeri, raspunsuri si nelamuriri, identifica debaterile similare dintre stiinta moderna si Biserica de azi.

Interactiunea religie-stiinta avea sa duca la un rezultat ostil, multi istorici negand posibilitatea unei existente care sa lege din punct de vedere istoric, religia cu stiinta. Asadar se naste un conflict intre cele doua deoarece ambele isi sustin din punct de vedere legitim istoric autonomia, existenta si reputatia, neavand posibilitatea de a se unifica, nu se absorb una pe alta, merg foarte aproape si totusi fiecare isi are propriul drum in istorie. Facand abstractie de la carte, nici Freud nu este departe de subiect cand afirma teoria evolutionismului, care spune ca omul trebuie sa se considere ca facand parte din universul fizic, afirmand ca nicio minte umana nu e destul de rationala, dar in schimb are o pricepere signifianta care sa constientizeze ridicarea lui din mintea-i inconstienta. Proeminentul Albert Einstein sustine compatibilitatea religiei si stiintei, intr-un articol aparut in New York Times in 1930: O persoana religioasa este devotata simtului de a nu avea niciun dubiu asupra obiectelor si scopurilor supranaturale care nu cer si nici nu sunt capabile de fundamente rationale. Exista prin aceeasi necesitate si nevoie de dovada, ca si el. In acest sens, religia este varsta tarzie/batrana a efortului omenirii de a deveni clar si complet constienta de aceste valori si scopuri si mereu sa le intareasca si sa le extinda efectul. Daca cineva crede despre religie si stiinta in conformitate cu aceste definitii atunci un conflict intre ele este imposibil. Deoarece stiinta nu poate dovedi decat ceea ce este, si nu ce ar trebui sa fie, si inafara domeniului sau, valorificarea parerilor de orice fel, ramane necesara. Religia, pe de alta parte, se ocupa doar cu evaluarea gandului si actiunii umane: nu poate vorbi despre fapte in mod justificat cat si despre relatii intre fapte. Potrivit acestei interpretari, binecunoscutele conflicte dintre religie si stiinta din trecut trebuie sa fie atribuite unei incomprehensiuni ale situatiei descrise.

Studiul stiintific asupra religiei arata ca religiozitatea este un fenomen social sau psihologic, aratand ca eista o corelare vizibila intre rugaciune si medicina, intre implorare spirituala si vindecare fizica, sau imbunatatire a sanatatii.

Apare totusi si problema spiritualitatii si a religiozitatii, afirmandu-se deseori ca cei spirituali sunt mult mai „fericiti” decat cei religiosi si apare o corelare intre credinta si altruism. Stiinta isi lasa amprenta asupra religiei doar in treacat, fiind reprezentata de un stidiu bazat pe statistici si programe, developate sa insuseasca o baza de date ghidabile pentru cei care intra in contact cu aceasta problematica...prin urmare, un sondaj de opinie efectuat in urma unei mici sau mari mase este pur relativ. Stiinta ramane un instrument filozofic intr-o lume patrunsa de necunoscut cu toate relativele, teoriile si supozitiile reale sau mai putin probabile ce sunt atasate de suprafata vizibila si palpabila.

Tindem catre un perfect absolut print-o modalitate cu secvente incompatibile cu perfectibilitatea, improbabila, cu reusite de 99% si niciodata 100%, plutim intr-un univers proeminent, noi, cei ce stam sa concepem idei si teorii, varietati de concepte cu privire la viata, suntem influentabili si instabili...rezistam noi oare falsificarilor naive, modificarilor periferice spirituale? Asadar, religia nu e vazuta precum exista si deci nu e compatibila cu stiinta.

<<...Te-am scris pentru ca mi-ai dat inca un motiv in plus sa lupt...>>

Lumea ... facuta din roci, pietre si nisip pe care sa-ti alunece sufletul si sa se pravaleasca in prapastii .......... De ce nu pot sa fie netezite caile tale de piciorul meu? De ce trebuie sa fie altfel, sa fie alti pasi pe cararea ta? Unde ai masurat gresit drumul ca sa te indemne sa o iei pe celalalt? Unde?

De ce esti sapat atat de adanc in radacnile-ti prinse intre anii ce se scurg pe sub ele ?...Le adapa cu apa rece, rece, rece!!!!!!!! Le este sete!

Unde pot sa plec cand sunt legat, unde sa alunec cand sunt tinut cu forta de orgoliul inimii mele? Sunt cu ramurile dezmembrate gata sa fie luate de vant si adunate de ei, da de ei, cei care mi-au dat curaj sa cred in mine ...unde sa fug sa ma reculeg cand trupul meu imi pleaca, nu mai am nimic sa-i spun ... mai am doar suflet, care plange, curge, aluneca, dar fara trup...in timp il pierd, dispare, mi se ascunde ...voi fi scrumul arsitei faptelor mele … fumul insipid al sufletului meu ascuns imi descopera frica si mandria, ma lasa gol … ma lasa singur.

Odata viu, acum gasit in alta lume, da, l-am lepadat , mi-a fost luat pentru ca nu stiam ca e al meu ... si strig : <Il vreau inapoi!!!> … dar nu ma aude nimeni, nici macar el…nu mai e al meu de cerut. L-am alungat ca pe un hot ce vine noaptea…….....Hoinaream fara sa stiu, incoace si incolo, lipsit de el…mergeam la moarte sigura, de buna voie, silit de viata mea, fara sa stiu ca el a incetat sa ma mai caute....Insasi cautarea ma reneaga acum, ma impinge catre moarte, greu ma cheama pasii, vantul ma impinge, nu mai am suflet sa imi spuna sa traiesc...sa fug sau sa stau? ...nu pot sa ma decid...nu mai e decizia mea...astazi mi-a fost hotarat sa mor!

Pentru prima data azi imbratisez cu adevarat moartea, astazi mor, maine nu mai exista pentru mine...ce-a fost odata al meu, nu ma mai vrea…………..

Lume facuta din roci, pietre si nisip!!! De ce ma aluneci sa ma pravalesc in prapastii? Degeaba ma mai lupt ca sa castig…din Lume am plecat, in Lume voi ajunge…in Moarte m-am nascut in Moarte voi muri!

Looking at the maple leaf...

............................................................ trying to find something to have a clue of what is going on ... truth and lie, coexisting in the same time sphere ... am I the only one trapped in a greedy world running after time and never really catching it?! ... people are fighting for lies and running for reality that surrounds them all in one color, because their eyes can't face the color of the colors ... looking at the maple leaf [searching for the truth] where I see answers blocking time with their delay ... when will they be questioned?

Something called falling in love...

Don't find love, let love find you. That's why it's

called falling in love, because you don't force
yourself to fall, you just fall.

Heart Tale......

Here's a question of faith: Is race against time a march through time? Or it's just an ordinary life among little things? It is said that little memories last for years, little dreams can lead to greatness, little victories to success...It's the little things in life that can make a big difference...count your blessings, and before complaining about anything look at this picture and think...should I be worried about how fast or about how slow is time passing? Time doesn’t care how fast or slow is passing by, but if you wait and wait, your time will be up and there will no turning back from where Time has passed you by. Today is the day that has been given for you to live....

Love is a feeling. Love is an attitude. Love is an action. Love is a choice.

Making room for others to get inside while I am standing right outside...how does that help ME? Anyway...if it doesn't help me, it sure helps others...isn't that what it's all about? Love for others...what a true and sincere feeling, enlarging your area of understanding, finding words and actions that lead to this great feeling....accepting, sharing........it is a complex feeling, that requires a lot more than the eye can meet! It is not your goal to make people love you, but for you to love people.

Sounds of life...

An acoustic journey around the world, filled with listeners and performers, a full communication with the loudest sound ever heard...life!!!
No matter if it's night or day...the sound is still the same...it doesn't loose a spark of intensity...it is a sound!!!It is alive!
It's an insanity of sounds, a selection of details and elements...it is a "noise pollution"................"the chemical" of sense, the noise of loudness, the thunder of the most evocative sound...the cry,the laughter......the sound of life!

Frozen Spirits...

Friendship...it is said to last forever....when does forever end? Does it end?.....................................
A smile, a sorry, a hug, a kiss, a gift...a thought for you, my friend...........................you are special!